Irons Transfer 'Car'tasthrophy

Talk about being the unwanted', having submitted a bid that was accepted by Olympic Marseille for centre back Duje Caleta-Car, the Hammers' hierarchy were then informed the 24-year-old Croatia international had elected to stay at Marseille and enjoy Champions League football instead. Another Irons target, Daniel Rugani, has joined Ligue 1 side Rennes on a one year loan from Juventus when at one point he was destined for East London.

Unfortunately for some reason known only to their selves, Barclays Premier League teams along with their counter parts in Europe always pursue the brinkmanship of 'last minute' deals, it makes no sense, but it still persists in a similar way as do Formula 1 teams when they wait until the last minute before going for a pole position.

To continue the F1 analogy, the teams that go out last have invariably got a 'banker' of a time lodged in advance and if they fail they to progress from a position of strength, albeit a compromised one, they are still well placed. West Ham are definitely NOT a Mercedes type of organisation, far from it, the German 'bean counters' would have a fit if they investigated West Ham United's transfer dealings and player acquisitions including the sometimes ridiculous wages paid to them over the last ten years!

Now the Smoke and Mirrors surrounding the Hammers' perpetual pantomime has recently settled to reveal the club's interest in 'Les' Dawson from relegated Watford, they were relegated mainly due to chopping and changing their managers too often and an appalling defence and midfield, so 'targeting' Dawson is most obviously not a 'golden shot' (we know Les didn't host it, but he was guest on numerous occasions).

Having got used to so much 'Bovine Excretia' from Chairman Sullivan et all, fans will see this latest rebuff as just another chapter of the 'Dinsdales' trying to mug them off, the sad thing is the club actually made a genuine bid, probably one of only a few 'real' bids, the fact that the player himself chose not to come to West Ham is surely indicative as to how outsiders now view the club, all the washing of laundry in the public eye, particularly the excruciatingly embarrassing 'Sully's' " I'm feeling depressed" interview with Jim Brown Nose on Talk Shite, has come back to haunt the club.

The White Elephant Stadium might be eye candy on first impressions, but a close look shows a stadium not fit for purpose, a swift jaunt up the congested A10 will take you to the Iron's Rush Green training ground, nicknamed 'Soylent Green' by the players due to the 'alien' properties of the training pitches and the modified Portakabins that serve as the players' rest and recuperation areas after their daily work outs.

Romanian emigrants temporarily 'squatted' the grounds during lock down, but elected to go and live on the narrow strip of grass there is in London's Park Lane, apparently the rats are better behaved! Given the amount of negative press the club has received of late, triggered by the ridiculous sale of Grady Diangana to West Brom, it is little wonder players are wary of joining up, Diangana's sale sent out a clear message, that the club is broke, and that even a promising youngster destined to go far will be sacrificed in order for the stubborn owners to retain possession of a club they cannot afford to effectively run.

The club will probably manage to pick up one or two scraps that have been missed by the bigger fish as they float downwards, but the unfortunate epilate 'bottom feeders' is most definitely applicable to the under funded club as it is. -Ed