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Is Garth On LSD?-Or Did Crooks Steal All The Speed?

Submitted by USA Hammer on Tue, 05/03/2024 - 13:17

Not having consumed recreational drugs since being a young ill-advised Musician, it is really easy to use the wrong street vernacular for drugs that are currently in use, but what ever their names are they ALL lead to some form of Psychosis with outcomes ranging from the humourous to the tragic!

So let's view Garth Crooks' weekly 'team of the week' slot for the BBC as an incorrect submission caused as he was attempting to juggle 'hungry' ex-Tottingham players in a nice orderly fashion into their seats at a 'swanky' Landos (eat as much as you can eat) located near Victoria station for their monthly 'snipe at how much these Lads get paid' meal out.

Victoria Station being chosen because its location is seen as 'Democratic' for all those doing their punditry duties, from the mighty BBC, via regional radio and TV right down to some of the vague 'arrys heroes' type websites.

Well every ex-player has to earn a decent buck to compensate for being 'rinsed' by their former clubs and the League's elite don't they, just ask Alan Smith. The ex-Arsenal 'whiney' can fill your boots and column inches with comments, at a PRICE!

Tottingham's Crooks (heaven forbid, not Levy or their Board) does rather fall into the needy and the false Rolex greedy category though. Fair enough if he feels the need to supplement his Pension with additional work good luck to him, he only generally tends to aggravate ALL except for Tottingham fans.

However, he does seem to reserve just that extra bit of 'Smithesque' vitriol for West Ham and their fans with his ludicrous omissions and inclusions of their players in his 'Team of the Weeek' slot!

Today though he took the candy, the full Monty and the cherry on top all in one by OMMITING Alphonse Areola, as goal keeper and INCLUDING Kurt Zouma as a defender ahead of 'El Machin', is the man on drugs? Crooks did however briefly come out of his 'trance' by including Tomy Soucek, although some would say including THREE West Ham Players was just a mistake due to numeracy issues!

Is there actually a 'back story' from the Beeb's editorial team that involves Garth's 'live' work', which is rumoured to be ending earlier than had originally been planned as part of the BBC's budget cut backs, and his desire to become 'King of the Hill' instead of Phil Mc Numpty?

Someone has to cough up for all those underprivileged Tottinghammers grasping for a gig in the media musical chair share out, so why not choose a Loony, or someone on drugs or both-USA Hammer.

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Dartford Bhoy's picture

I think Crooks generally talks a good game, no idea what Areola has to do to make the team... nonsense!

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18 users have voted.

Areola should definitely be in the team of the season. For West Ham to be still fighting for a top 6 spot & have the crap in front of him Areola has performed miracles. How would the Liverpool, City or Arsenal keepers fare with such crap in front of them?

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15 users have voted.

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